For My Daughter: 15 Life Lessons I Wish I Had Received Growing Up.

Via Alex Myles for Elephant Journal

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

I remember the moment vividly, 21 years ago.

I was sitting in the antenatal clinic, reading a magazine article while waiting for my appointment. It was before my daughter was born and although I cannot remember the name of the magazine or whom the interview was about, I do, very clearly, remember the message I received.

When the interviewer asked how the mother in question had managed to control her daughter throughout her teenage years, the mother simply replied “I have never tried to control her; I guide her.”

I reflected on my own teenage years and progression into adulthood and recognized the impact that my parentscontrolling behaviour had had on my life. I was fiercely independent, even from a young age, and I, at least, thought I knew my own mind. I wasn’t easily swayed or coerced into doing anything I didn’t want to do.

And the times that I had been forced to go against my own grain, I had regretted tremendously.

Whether the subject was my friends, boyfriends, education or life in general, I always knew I had to find my own way. Whenever my parents had forcibly intervened I strongly resented it and would very often find a way of rebelling against it.

Not only would I rebel, I would feel that because I had not made decisions myself, the lessons I had been given had passed me by, with nothing learned. I had unfinished business with people and had not seen things through to the end due to other people making important choices for me.

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Marissa GandelmanComment